The Race Scale

"Yeah well how many times has that happened to you?" Darius was fuming, his normal smile replaced by a teeth clenching snarl.
"I don't know you might be overreacting a little bit ya think?" Joel said trying to calm down his friend. "So the service sucked what does that have to do with race?" This was a common thread of Darius' life; race, discrimination, political imobility, glass ceilings and biggots. Ugly inhabitants in his young world.
"Did you see how many cracker ass crackers got served before we even got our water?"
"Dude there was like one waitress for that whole place, didn't you see her running around all crazy."
"Well we were still put at the bottom the priority list."
"Could that be because we were the last to arrive?"
"Nah man I saw this white guy in a suit sit down after us and he had his water and everything, they didn't like us because we were asian."
"It was a fucking Japanese restaurant, how are they gonna discriminate against us because were asian?"
"It doesn't matter that we share the same blood, these people are so wrapped up in this culture that perpetuates these images of white beauty they discriminate against their own kind." As he said this his arms were folded against his chest as if to say hmmph take a bite of that, now chew it, digest it, and realize I speak the truth.
"Bullshit, they were just busy man."
Not the response he expected, his words falling against the closed head of a blissfully ignorant child. "Nope they put us on a racial scale and they served us according to their beliefs on the superiority of the white race."
"What the fuck are you talking about."
"Alright here it is let me ask you, who is number one on the scale of races?"
Joel made a fake thinking face his hand under his chin before saying, "Shouldn't the scale be balanced?"
"Fuck you it's not a literal scale it's a fucking ranking system."
"ok so let me guess white people are at the top of this thing, wait a minute who's scale is this?"
"It is American society's scale, trust me it's true, it might not be like a list you can print out every week and check the standings but there is a scale."
"What determines your scale, can I move up the scale if I change my name, or does it involve plastic surgery?" He smirked playfully taunting the overly mature acting Darius.
"Well for you to move up the scale you have to become white." He said this so seriously, like it could actually happen and he had talked to converts.
"What the fuck man, you can't just become white and then climb up your imaginary scale, how exactly does one become white?"
"It's not that hard, shit you're like three fourths of the way there."
"Haha fuck you, I think you have been smoking too much."
"Smoking has nothing to do with this, well it might move you up or down on the scale but that kinda changes pretty quickly. What I am saying is you become more white, by dressing a certain way, by talking a certain way, and by schmoozing with the people that will grant you access to their crackerdom."
"Haha so if I just get some Abercrombie, get a friend named Skip and have a membership to a country club I will move up the scale."
"Damn if you know a guy named Skip I think they make you a lifetime member or something, fucking Skip haha."
"So what determines whether one is acting white or not?"
"Hella shit, here are some examples, language, music, television shows, clothes, education, employment, history, it's like all these things working together."
"That just sounds like generalizations, like what exactly about education makes you white or not."
"Well if you have one you are more white."
"Shut the fuck up man you are the racist one."
Darius stared back truly surprised, "Me? racist fuck you I am just conscious, I can see how things work, by pointing out racism I do not take part in it."
"Well aren't you saying that if a black person gets an education they are becoming white? or that if I watch Moesha I am black? Those are just broad generalizations you are using to categorize races." He thought about how in elementary school it wasn't very cool to be the martest kid.
"Whoa hold up, I am not saying any of this is right I am just saying that this is how things are, if you wear Fubu, white people will be more likely to look down upon you, if you have a wife beater and a hair net it lowers your ranking, I don't make up the rules man, that's just how it is." He was sort of making up the rules but it was all true in his opinion.
"whatever man I forget what we are even talking about." He hadn't really but he wanted to move on, he knew that Darius was just getting started though.
"History has a huge part in the ranking system."
"Yeah how is that?"
"Ok let's look at the history of labor, this is a perfect example of the sliding racial scale."
"can't wait," Joel leaned forward, his head resting on his hands mockingly feining interest.
"You'll thank me for enlightening you, alright so can you tell me who some of the earliest immigrants to be discriminated against were?"
"uhhh everybody."
"Exactly, Irish came, they got hated on, the italians, the jews, the chinese, the japanese, the indians, the mexicans, and now the middle eastern's, sliding scale of discrimination right there." If it was a basketball game he would have yelled boo yahh but instead he just sat back looking satisfied.
"what the fuck was that man you just listed off a bunch of people that were discriminated against, a list that includes like everybody, which would mean that we are all equally hated right?"
"Nah man you got it all fucked up, you have to look at why these people were discrimnated against and that will show you how this sliding scale of race works." He felt like one of his professors, probably because he was jumbling all of their ideas into one visual aid for the racism that he felt was beneath everything.
"Alright then why were these people discriminated against."
"Usually because of labor issues, you see it all ties back to a history of racism, the Chinese came over and were hated because they provided cheaper labor than the Irish, you know and the Italians used to be hated, it's like the new guy gets hated until he has been around for awhile or another group fucks up then everybody hates them."
"So the scale slides when someone fucks up."
"Yeah, like when Pearl Harbor happened wooh big time slippage for the Japanese, but that changes when a war with Korea happens, or say now with the middle east."
"Ok I can kind of see it, so where are we at on the scale now."
"Are you asking me for my own ranking?"
"Well since you're the god damn expert i thought you would at least know what place we were in."
"hmm let me think, number one fo sho is whites, is it weird how they aren't seperated anymore? like now white is a huge conglomerate before they used to single each other out more, whatever..
"So whites are number one like we didn't fucking know that, next!!"
"uhh I would say number two in the public racist eye would probably be Asians?"
"You might be a little biased, what makes you put asians number two?"
"Well certain asian groups have been adopted by the whites as the model minority you know about that shit, plus they think we are all smart and our dicks are too small to steal their women, asians are like the little castrated house boys in the white man's mansion."
"Wow so being number two kinda sucks, huh, so is being below us better or worse."
"I think that being lower means you are viewed as more of a threat at least, i mean it is harder to manueveer I imagine but people don't think your a dickless bitch, look at the other races that would be below, African Americans for sure, and you know the crackers are scared of them look at the legends they have started about their dicks."
"Wait so saying a race has a big dick will stop you from being moved up the scale?"
"No saying a race has a big dick is like saying they are sexual creatures, primal, and a threat to steal your young nubile white tittays, they did the same thing with the Chinese after they hooked them on opium, Watch out that crazy ass chink will drag your daughter into his den and tarnish her chocha."
"haha so sexual fear plays into this as well."
"Well the Chinese had reason to be horny their women weren't even allowed to come over, it was just groups of dudes for hella long, but I don't know they just create fears so you dislike a certain group."
"Well what's another example?"
"Mexicans and weed, they said that the mexicans would steal your kids too, maybe kill them in a weed induced frenzy."
"Haha yeah more likely to steal your daughter and go to Ihop or challenge her in Tekken." He wished he was stoned and playing Tekken.
"exactly but it was just a tactic, like how people are afraid of black people, and don't say people aren't because people switch sides of the street and shit, that's fucked up."
"So it goes whites, castrated asians, weed smoking mexicans, and then scary black people."
"I don't know middle eastern's are below blacks right now, but blacks are always right there near the bottom."
"Well that makes sense, just look at how recently they were getting fucked over and how it was like government rule and shit, things don't change that quickly,"
"Yep yep, I think you are starting to see the light."
"Yeah well I don't know about that, I mean I understand your scale and all that shit, but that has nothing to do with why we didn't get served at the restaurant."
"Or does it?"
"no it doesn't."
"Trust me it has to with everything, you just choose to ignore it."
"Orrr you could just be a crazy paranoid racist."
"Am I going to have to keep saying that recognizing that there are racial lines is not racist it is just the truth."
"Well you seem to be racist against the people that have put this system into place."
"Yeah well fuck the white people they have all the power, somone has to fling some hate back their way."
"You know what's funny?"
"What's that?"
"Where i grew up we hated russians."
"Is that funny?"
"Ok well maybe not funny but you know how does that fit into your scale."
"Well why did you hate the russians, were they stealing your labor?"
"No they just smelled like shit and always walked around speaking russian in their leather jackets and elementary school hairstyles."
"And I am the racist one?"
"Well you hate white people too, is it worse that we used to dislike a certain aspect of the conglomerate that you want to fight against?"
"Dude if the russians are being hated on like that, they are not part of the conglomerate yet, they are going through the new immigrant stage, watch once they lose their accents and start blending in it will be harder to pick them out."
"So it's a time thing for them soon they will be bought out by the white conglomerate."
"Hell yeah they will, see that's the problem with not being white, the conglomerate never comes knocking at your door."
"Wait a sec why would you want them too, you hate them right."
"Well I am just saying they have all the power, and we can never fully be apart of that, I mean sure we can get good jobs and hangout with them, carpool their kids to work, but you will never be given a membership card."
"Isn't being employed and stuff like that part of the way to move up the scale."
"Yeah but the whole thing is you still won't look like them or be fully accepted."
"What does that mean, why not?"
"Because man you will always look like a fucking jap to them, how many times has somebody asked you where you are from?"
"I don't know a couple."
"Well that shit right there is saying you don't look like us, I hate that shit, where the fuck are you from? Germany!!"
"Well then what are you supposed to do to fix this."
"Hey I don't have an answer for that, maybe bomb it all and start over, doubt that shit would work though, these racial differences are what this nation has been built on."
"Aww you sound like your softening up a little."
"Far from it, the exploitation of the minorities for cheap labor is the reason we are such an ecclectic group of people, it doesn't have shit to do with love or racial harmony, it's all about that dolla dolla bill."
"Ok not softening up, so we are just cogs in a capitalist machine."
"cogs fo sho."
"Well at least you are a fucking squeaky ass, annoying, political, hate spewing, cog."
"No other way to be man."
"Yeah well I am fucking starving since you insisted on staging your walkout from that Japanese restaurant, you ready to go get some food?"
"Yeah what do you feel like?"
"How about some Mexican?"
"Nah man i hate mexicans, always smoking the mota, so lazy and sex fiendish."
"Hahaha fuck you let's go."
"Alright."