Music Reviews: J5 and Swollen members

I just bought some new music, I got the new Roots, J5, and Swollen Members. The Swollen has been in my car for awhile, it has gotten the most play our of the three. I like theJ5 the second best and I still need to give the roots a thorough listening. The swollen is very swollen-like, does that make sense? They sound like what you would expects, there is no new style/sound to them. I actually appreciate this, I am all for artistic license and evolving your sound, but I also like consistency. I didn't buy the Swollen album to hear chanting monks or dying emus wailing over break beats and the banging of pots and pans. Thankfully there is none of this type of stuff on the album. They keep it fresh but still keep their sound intact. Give it a listen, it has some good stuff on there. Check out their myspace or their website, and listen to Black Magic, it's a dope ass song, and there are plenty more where that came from. The new J5 is far from being innovative or new in relation to their artistic progression. It actually sounds like they de-evolved and warped back in time to the days of the parkside cyphers and the original boom bap funk. Now J5 has always sounded like they came from the golden age of rap but this album seems to be even more focused on the fun and party vibe thing that rap had going for it in the beginning. They have some of those old sugar hill gang type beats and I am not mad at them. The album has been enjoyable so far but I haven't gotten all the way through it. There is one huge problem that I have with the album though. That horrible single with Dave Matthews. That song is a stinking piece of shit. The two sound as cohesive as oil and water. Just because he had some hits in the early nineties it does not make it a good idea to link up with him for a hip hop song. The shit sounds disjointed like two people that have nothing in common and no reason to be in the same room were forced into the studio. Dave's voice is out of place, He just does not have the kind of voice that works as a hook or for the chorus of a hip hop song. His twangy slow delivery, and his leg kicking weird dancing guitar playing ass should not be singing with J5. The beat is not hip hop, it's like some magic wonderland, bluesy, folk songy, chirpy birds and butterscotch bullshit and the whole thing is crap, crap, crap. That chorus is just so bad, whenever his voice comes on that song I just want to punch him in the face. It is the worst collaboration since Kobe Bryant and Tyra Banks. What? You didn't know that Kobe Bryant and tyra Banks had a song together? Well you better axe somebody, it's called K.O.B.E, maybe, I don't remember what the fuck it's called, all I know is that Tyra sings the hook and Kobe can't rap for shit. Here is a sample of the chorus"K-O-B-E I L-O-V-E you, promise i'll never leave you" or some shit like that, I dunno, it's over the everlasting bass beat too. Weaaaaaaaak. Check it out though, I have it on my computer just to laugh at. Much like any song by the streets. Do you know the streets? The supposed hip hop star from the UK? The guy that everyone jocks as being hella tight and the greatest thing to happen to hip hop? Only cool people like the streets. He was all the rage in the magazines years ago and everyone touted him as hot shit carrying the hip hop torch for England. Have a listen and tell me he isn't crap. If this is the best that England has got then you can keep his sorry ass. I would rather listen to Phil collins. His rhymes are so freaking weak and his delivery is like me talking into a mic if I layed down and sipped a margarita while hopped up on vicodin. Talking over a beat is not rapping. Here are some of his lyrics. Remember all he does is talk with little to no emotion. Who's round is it? Down that beer quick smash my glass back down fall over the table All rowdy and pissed Seems the only difference between mid week shit and weekend is how loud I speak And whether I try to pull a girlfriend That's it who's got dough? Hey, you know I'd pay but I'm broke, only got coinage to show Putting off walking home on my own to my thrown Two empty takeaways ashtrays and remains of the day stoned Pick a bottle off the table, peel the label tell a fable Offer opinion for free and a solution to the latest big news story Football and smut daily as I ponder winning the lottery Buy a drink, chat to a lady, the girls well fit definitley, not maybe, she's rude I'd shag her and make tea right thereDownload it to listen to how shitty he really sounds, I can't believe people like this douche. Is it just because he is british? Is it because he is white? Either way if you are white and british and you can't rap for shit and sound like a retard, you still sound like a retard. Outside factors should not affect your review of his music. If you can tell me that this is the kind of shit that you would listen to, in your car, in a club, in your room, actually at any time at all, then I don't want to know who you are. MC Paul Barman is better than this dude. Shit Princess Superstar would school this guy with her mic skills and that's saying a lot.Don't know how I feel about the roots album, have to listen to it more. Oh yeah and Zion-I and the Grouch just came out with their collabo album, heroes in the city of dope. I haven't heard it yet, but shiet those two can't fuck up in my book. Buy it I am sure it will be good. Support your local underground cats, that actually have skill. Dave Matthews and The Streets sick!!!