most of these are old away messages from aim....

The Loss Of Yesterday
Shattered dreams and mangled hopes, reaching a precipice of faith. I stand on the edge the wind soaring by my sides and tears forming in my eyes. Down below far off in the distance the valley of happiness is beyond my grasp, frozen by uncertainty, the leap is too far and I continue to only stare at what might be. Friendships fading as the cycle continues, a perpetual movement never satisfied, from victim to victim, from heart to heart, I crumble to my knees as the pain shrouds my mind, angry flashes of life as I lash out at incessant insecurities, left alone and missing a large part of my life a darkness paralyzes my already dying corpse, movement is a daunting task as the pain seeps through my skin permeating deep into my heart, motionless and filled with pain I grieve the loss of yesterday, To restore what was lost can never be it is over.

Exist
A beautiful rhapsody of life’s torments, masking a shameful shell of a human, feelings denounced and morals defiled, loss of respect in a sobering flash of white light and realization, like a lonesome leaf whisked along by natures gentle hands. I venture farther from the truth from myself, becoming a ghost of what I once was, rain trickles down my window the steady dripping drowns out thoughts of rehabilitation, illuminated by the false fluorescent lights of an empty room, alone I contemplate and re-evaluate my life, shards of realism intertwined with barbs of ecstasy, to become moral I must lose what I now am, when one is by nature and undeniably amoral how can u separate that from ur being? Is the gaining of morals worth the losses accompanying it? Choices confront me in a desperate plea, I choose only to exist.


Chasing Possibilities
Chasing possibilities escaping with every step closer, misread signs and tormenting stagnation, ceasing to care brings only more yearning, inescapable emotions blind and transform thoughts, a racing heart and clouded mind in mere presence, the ability to make all right unknown, exuberation and emancipation with touch of hand, jubilation with mention of name or slightest belief of returned affection, never to be it hurts only more, a meandering trail of shattered wishes and solitude, escaping for a short time, only to be lured back in by hopeless dedication, depression and self pitying gain no ground. weakness shown and feelings told still no response, a spiraling darkness envelopes my mind with jealousy and envy burning bright in the calloused corners of my mind. not good enough and unable to accept reality, I continue to chase

Appreciate
A creation born from infinity, life fleeting and fragile, exploring the creations of a metaphysical anomaly, combining to birth thought and retrospect, a gift of appreciation and perplexity, corporations miss the meaning the stars fading from floodlights of globalization, to step back and gaze into the beauty of the night time sky, purples slowly fading to black, simple splashes of stars in the distance adorn the glass ceiling of existence. bewildered and astounded by a overwhelming feeling of spectacle and admiration, gifted with the ability to realize how unique we are petty squabbling disintegrates into the subconscious, time is wasted bemoaning and not living, not seeing but hurting, the unimportant melts away with the proclamation of living and the exploration of our creations, marvelous sights unfold before unseeing eyes. just appreciate

Buildings Are Not Forever
Pondering meaning, gazing into endless black and forever stretching beauty, twinkles of stars as they glimmer in distant galaxies, a modern wonder of decorative design, simplistic yet forever enthralling, entrapping splendor bestowed upon blind minions of industry and commodities, unappreciative and trapped in hollow tunnels of social regulations, timelessly wasting lives plodding forward looking only at their feet, babbling brooks wander down mountain sides while shadows slowly creep towards darkness, humanity blind and flailing swipes at realization of miraculous proportions, always falling short never grasping and forever trapped building instead of exploring, polluting instead of enjoying, destroying instead of appreciating, when humanity ceases to exist who will realize that we ever did, buildings are not forever and neither are we.