Survey Says!!!

I was sent a survey, everything you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask is here, read and learn all about me

1. FIRST NAME? Christopher

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I don't think so, maybe the guy that got lost then came here claimed it as his own and was responsible for the anihilation of the native peoples.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When I found out that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had broken up
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? My hand writing is more beautiful than the sistine chapel's ceilings, if you saw it you weep and then gouge your eyes out because you know that you would never see anything more beautiful

6. KIDS? I have many seedlings scattered across the dusty plains

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No I am not friends with people who smell like monkeys

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes it is a my little ponies diary from 4th grade, it has my crushes and interior design ideas for my dollhouse

9 . DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Never, I avoid sarcasm like I avoid telemarketers

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I actually have my originals and another set that were a gift to me from Angela Landsbury

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes because I am exxxxtremmmeeee

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? nerds and pop rocks in a bowl with pepsi

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I have velcro shoes

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I don't like to brag but I can benchpress your car with an entire malaysian village sitting shot gun while holding 6,000 pounds of trout

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Elmer's Glue
17. RED OR PINK? Fuschia

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My devastating good looks always discourage people from approaching me, that and my webbed feet

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Mr. Belvidere

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Only if they include a donation of $50 and a dvd of Lonesome Dove

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am not wearing any pants and my shoes are actually just paper bags wrapped in rubber bands


22. LAST THING YOU ATE? a pigeon that I hunted down at the park and stunned with a supersonic scream before devouring him feathers and all

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The minions of my mind mounting a rebellion against an authoratative overlord
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I would be a dazzling rainbow

25. Favorite Smell? My cologne, hobo's feet by calvin Klein
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I just got off the phone with Maury Povich, he was trying to pitch me a show about a cruise ship and the different ports that it visits, i told him the idea sucked and he started crying so I hung up

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? I just make sure they have all of their teef, oh and their chain, they gotta be able to shine like me naw mean?

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I don't know how this was sent to me

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Squeeze-its I love squeezing the life out of those bastards while I drink their blood

30. FAVORITE SPORT? Curling

31. EYE COLOR? I am wearing my red contacts today, because I already had my fangs in so I had to make the look complete

32. HAT SIZE? Hats do not fit on this mellon, is mellon a hat size?

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I have superhuman sight, I can see you through the computer, stop picking your nose

34. FAVORITE FOOD? I do not need to eat because I am powered by the sun, I get very sad when it rains and my power is weak

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? I never watch the ends of movies because my imagination is much better than hollywood's, actually my endings always have all of the characters die from being attacked by unicorns

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATER? The beginnings of jazz tap and beyond

37. Kind of shirt you are wearing? black mesh so my nipples can breath, otherwise they get angry and start bothering me, pestering me for breath and spare change, GET A JOB!!
38. Summer or winter? It is always winter to me, I suffer from chronic Pneumonia and constant chills

39. HUGS OR KISSES? head locks

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Beef Jerky

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? The Ghostbusters, if I could only find their number

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? THe X-men they stopped taking my calls, something about a restraining order

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Mental Health and You by Charles Manson

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A team of highly trained miniature porcupines that move my mouse by responding to my voice commands, LEFT!!! RIGHT!!! CLICK NOW!!! NOW SCROLL!!!!

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? the Father Dowlings Mysteries marathon

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Yaks mating, gerbils excercising, hobos panhandling, tires screeching, beached whales, muzak, and nails against a chalkboard

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? John Denver

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Woodland, I got so scared I had to turn back and I haven't left home since

49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I make paper Mache airplanes and pilot them into my neighbors house to reprogram his tivo and record diagnosis murder

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? I was born in 01 A.D. rising from the pits of lazarus to proclaim my dominance over these feeble creatures
51. TOENAILS? no