Let's look at scientific stuff. These are two images dealing with "Pressures Produced When Penguins Poo: Calculations on Avian Defecation." The paper was written by Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University (Hungary) and Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of the International University Bremen (Germany) and the University of Oulu (Finland.) These guys examined not only the projection and direction of penguin feces, but also the internal pressure required by penguins to disperse their crap. Interesting stuff, I guess....I wonder how much their grant was.
I do have to admit that I did not know that penguin shit came out in such a forceful and focused spray. I would also like to admit that I am a better person now that I know this. These pictures and this paper have made me re-evaluate my life. Now I really think about the internal pressure that all animals generate when crapping and I have a new world view. That and I don't think of penguins as classy little creatures in tuxedoes that hold social mixers and cocktail parties anymore. You ae tarnished forever you foul shit spewing poultry. Maybe if you ever returned my calls or invited me to your little mixers it would have never come to this. But as you wish penguins...as you wish.