Texts From Last Night

Oh man this site is awesome. The whole site is just funny text messages people have gotten. Along the same lines as Fuck My Life, but usually just dealing with drunken antics. It's good stuff, trust me, would a man with a free candy sign and a creepy van with extremely tinted windows mislead you or harm you in anyway?
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

I spend a lot of time on the internet during the day, I really should just keep track of all of the sites that I go to and share all of the links with you . Are you guys interested in Serbian watermelon carvings or pictures of diseased Porcupines that favor their left legs when they hobble?

See that's why we can't share things, it's because of looks like that. I get the same look when I test out the sneeze guard at salad bars. If it's doing it's job then, no harm, no foul. Don't judge me, I do this for your sake when I spot a weakness or an opening that is large enough for me to stick my head under, I inform the proper pimple faced teenager that modifications must be made. They usually have to take the salad bar apart so I can get my head out from underneath the guard and then refill whatever food source I had been rifling through with my face, but in the end I think that everyone learns a valuable lesson. Like last time I learned that I should make sure to get stuck above something better than baby corn, ugggh I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime. I must have consumed the equivalent of 90 corn toddlers that day, it only took them three minutes to free my head, but I work fast when I see something I want.

Here are some quotes from the site that tickled my fancy and made me spontaneously drop it like it was hot.

"(570): I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.