Just a couple things from the last two days. One of the advantages of living in the city is the abundance of crazy people. I was coming out of the train station, minding my business, when I came upon a man in a wheelchair. This alone does not make him crazy, but I think the masking tape x on his forehead would be a good sign he wasn't all there. I think he had an American flag on his wheelchair as well. The wheelchair thing didn't add to his crazy factor, maybe just commented on the fact that he was a veteran. What happened next though, seemed to both confirm that he was in fact crazy and, made me conclude that he was a veteran.

He eyed me, rage filling up his pupils. He raised his arms as if holding and imaginary rifle and fired at me. I kinda just stared at him, like, "Wow are you really shooting at me?" My stare did nothing to deter him, as he fired off a couple more shots and I thought, "Yeah I guess you are shooting at me." It took a lot of restraint on my part to not indulge in the fantasy with him. I almost started rolling and firing back at him commando style. Kicking over garbage cans for cover and radioing my base for back up. I wanted to up the ante and start heaving grenades at him, while crawling on my hand and knees to avoid the spray of his bullets. But what I really wanted to do was stand up straight, fists on my hips and laugh off the bullets like superman. Slowly walk towards him saying, "You're human bullets have no effect on me." Inching closer and closer, before either disarming his imaginary gun and tossing it to the side, or grabbing a hold of his chair and racing around in circles with him while screaming, "Weeeee!!" I thought better of this though, because for starters, he had a freaking gun, and secondly he probably smelled. I think it was a shotgun or maybe just an assault rifle. It wasn't automatic as far as I could tell but it must have had some big bullets because it had some serious kick to it. Not enough to move his chair back when he fired but it made his arms go back. I decided it would be best to not challenge such a high caliber gun and instead just walked away, had a shared look with a random Mexican, a look like, "Whoa he almost got me," or maybe it was more of a "That guy isn't sane is he?" Then I just stood there watching him shoot other people as I waited for my bus. I wondered if he shot at me because I was Asian, maybe he thought I was Viet-Cong. I felt better after I saw him shoot some Mexicans and knew that his love for killing people crossed all racial lines. It's all about equality, and I was proud of him for sharing his bullets with everyone.

Side tangent- I work on a upper floor of my building so I take the elevator (This is my attempt at being Andy Rooney, I actually think I saw Andy Rooney say the exact same thing) but it kind of bugs me when the button is pushed, the light is on and you know the elevator is coming but someone comes up and pushes the button anyway. Why? The shit is coming, hence the light, your push will not make it go faster, skip floors, rush down to meet you. It doesn't think hey, someone pushed that shit three times I better hurry my ass up and head downstairs. It will come when it's ready. So, maybe Andy didn't say those exact words, and don't ask me why I was watching Andy Rooney in the first place, but that's just a little think that bugs me. You know what else bugs me the fact that Andy Rooney has a job. What the hell is that all about? I could say the stupid shit he does, for example read what I just wrote above this. I saw another segment with him, jesus how much 60 minutes do I watch, am I that fucking old? Ok, so in the segment his whole thing was the president name should be strong, like Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln. They name schools after presidents, imagine if Huckabee won. Huckabee elementary? I just sat there listening to this shit and couldn't believe, that one, he wasn't dead because he looked like a bloated corpse with out of control eyebrows mumbling some stupid shit, and two he got paid for these witty observances. His segment is like 2 seconds, I just wonder how much he makes. I could sit in front of a camera, and say stuff like, you know the problem with digital cameras? People never print their pictures, in my time people had albums, now they have laptops. I would get the same bored looks from people, maybe two retards who chuckle and say god damn it he tells it like it is, that is sooooo true.

One last thing, when I go to the bathroom at my work, which is always number one, because I don't like shitting in public, people always do this thing that makes no sense to me. So I am standing at the urinal and someone sidles up next to me, they unzip and before they start, they flush the toilet. What is that all about? So the person before you didn't flush, does the toilet have to be clean for you to dirty up? Can your urine not touch their urine? Aren't you going to flush after you are done anyway? Why not just wait? Maybe these aren't questions for you, but should be directed at the pre-flushers, but I don't usually like talking at the urinal and I hate the people I work with and don't talk to them anyway, so yeah, you get to hear about it. Are you a pre-flusher? Can you explain it?

To bring this to a close, I will share a short but sweet encounter with a crazy person I just had at lunch. He came into the taco bell. Yes, it is my fault I was in a taco bell in a bad part of town and crazy people love taco bells in bad parts of town, but that's not the point. So I was waiting for my food. He comes up shows me a gold chain while simultaneously asking for a dollar. Not sure if the dollar was for the gold chain or a separate transaction, all I knew per his words was, " A nigga tryin to eat." I turned down the chain and the offer of me giving him a dollar but he still stood next to me. My food arrived, and I had gotten some nachos. I grabbed my tray and was about to leave when I felt a tapping on my arm. Of course it was my dear friend the jewelry salesman and he had a request. He wanted some of my chips. I used to be a pretty generous dude, I would give people whatever change I had on me. Two things have changed and have made me less willing to give. I need coins for laundry and I get hit up every fucking day for change. You become jaded, over saturated, just tired of it. So now I usually just raise a hand and say sorry before walking by. Having said all that I had plenty of chips and it was such a direct request, not a generalization like food, or something to eat, he wanted to eat some of my chips. I decided I could handle this request and grabbed maybe like two chips and put them in his hand. I sure am glad I did because afterwards he said, "You are a good dude, you are going to go to heaven for that." That made me feel good, as I now have a guaranteed ticket to heaven and all it took was two taco bell chips. Pretty good deal if you ask me. If a guy who thinks about running around with the wheelchair of a disabled insane veteran and makes fun of Andy Rooney can go to heaven then there is hope for all.