I should start writing again

It's true, doesn't mean it will actually happen but it is the troof. Shush shush, I can hear your moans of protest, I can see your eyes rolling, oh my god are you having a seizure!!? Oh no you were really reacting to my threat of writing....asshole. So for some reason I came to this realization right before I am leaving work. Actually I might get my best realizations at around this time every day. Yesterday I realized that my pants were unzipped right before I left for home. The day before that I realized if I move very quietly and I can observe co-workers in their natural environments for approximately 17 minutes and 24 seconds before they notice me. Next time I will not start humming my secret spy theme until the mission is complete. It was either that or my habit of loudly smelling things that got me caught. I am a sniffer what can I say?

Sooo...how ya been? I will nod my head and say stuff like "hmmm," "what??," "no way!!," "OMG" (I will actually say the letters,) maybe throw in a "that bitch" as well until you finish whatever inane anecdote you think I care about. Are you done yet? Now ask me, ask me!! Well..thank you for asking. What a complex question that is. So many ins and outs, so many harrowing tales of late nights spent hiding in laundromats, so many prescriptions to keep the voices to a nice low murmur.

I guess if I had to describe my state of being in one statement it would be, I am glorious. Ok, not really but "glorious" is my power word according to my psychic. Whenever I get one of my panic attacks or feel the cloudies (that's what we call sad feelings) I just have to repeat my power word over and over until the world is sunny side up. Apparently things will turn around for me soon enough. Clarice , sorry madam Clarice, said something about ruling a mythic race of frog people, and we will inherit the earth and rage war against the humanoids. I think I was going to be a staff sergeant, and it had something to do with power obtained from an unknown toddler, supposedly I will know it when I see it and I have to extract the power with this power extractor I had to buy. It kind of looks like a take out bag from Burger King to me, but hey I have never seen a power extractor and Madame Clarice knows what she is talking about. I forget what else happens, all I know is it involves a crown made from a hallowed out pumpkin, I have to send $100 a month to Madame Clarice and my reign will last 1000 years. So I guess that's something to look forward to. I won't ask you to pick sides immediately, but I will also not hesitate to put a humanoid on his back. Rat-a-tat-tat. You have been warned...