I have returned

I haven't written in awhile. I am not even going to act like anyone has notcied or apologize like everyone else does when they come back from a hiatus. I am just going to say, if you are ever in a bus and you think the nun across the aisle is asking to be tickled, she probably isn't. Trust me, she probably just has indigestion or is dreaming of her long lost love that she left for a life dedicated to god. If you tickle her, it will lead to court dates, trials, restraining orders, a whole bunch of crap you don't want to deal with. I still have to do community service.

Speaking of my community service, I was really hoping to do more than just pick up trash. I was thinking more along the lines of serenading senior citizens or puppet shows espousing the use of condoms and the threats of std's. I actually still have my chlamydia puppet in my closet from the last beauty pageant I participated in. I just have to find my burning urine and open sore puppets and then maybe I can start booking venues. Would anyone be interested in a show? The routine is not beauty pageant approved but that's just because it was too forward thinking for them. They actually screamed when burning urine puppet shot his silly string at them. I mean sure it is meant to evoke a reaction but more of a welcome than a panic. Who doesn't like to be draped in silly string? I'll tell you who, a bunch of make-up caked, conservative, chastity belt wearing, religous zealots. Spitting out their canned answers, "Peace on earth, puppies for everyone blah blah." Ok, so I am still a little bitter, but only because I was the rightful owner of the beet queen crown of 1986. I would give up all of my dancing queen trophies for that one beet queen crown. But alas it shall never be and we must strike forward, noses upturned and pinkies out.

So besides that other exciting event on the bus there hasn't been that much going on. I founded a travelling choir that specializes in Neil Diamond covers. Right now it's just me and this homeless guy Larry. I think he is just lonely though as he doesn't participate with the singing as much as the asking for money. He really shines during "Sweet Caroline" though. I start of with the "Sweeeeet Caroline" and then I point to Larry with my best wiggling jazz fingers and he comes in with a "Ba dump dum dum" and then back to me, "Good times never seemed so good" and back to Larry "So good!!, So good!!" You get the idea. We really are a sight to see. Though we have gotten some complaints and people make fun of Larry saying he just mumbles stuff and isn't really singing, but I tell Larry they just don't get us and he usually responds by mumbling something I can't understand. But whatever the case may be, I think we make a fine duo. I keep telling Larry it's not about the money, I say, "Money Schmoney Larry, money schmoney." He just kinda growls back at me and then holds out his cup. Then I just pat him on the head and say, "Same time tomorrow partner," and Larry says , "Hrmmpghh" or something to that effect. I smile and skip away waving as I make my way down the street and out of sight.

So, as you can see signifigant things are starting to happen. That's all for now. Here is a link to some random comics and drawings from an awesome site that has prints, shirts, fucked up valentine's day cards and other goodies. I would post pictures but flickr is now blocked at work. Down with censorship!!!!

http://youyesyou.net/