Creepy

Hello Acura driver,

This is the creepiest thing that I have ever done. Well except for that incident with the horse, but I swear to Zeus that thing said it was 18. Oh, the age wasn't the issue?...I see...well then. You have found this note on your car because I thiiiink I saw you the other day, and I thiiink you looked very pretty. If you are indeed not pretty please disregard this note..just kidding we can still do it even if you aren't pretty. I have no morals, standards, or toenails, that last part is what we call TMI, but is the truth ever really TMI? Is it? Huh? According to Jack Nicholson yes sometimes it is, but I wouldn't listen to him, because he is a Lakers fan and feasts on the souls of aborigine school children. Which everyone knows are high in transfat, and that's just not healthy.

So, if you would be interested in a cup of coffee, a game of backgammon (I don't even know what this game is) or a small nibble at a public place, so I can make sure you don't try and kidnap me, I know your games!!! We could do this. I might look far more highly upon you if you didn't respond though, because let's be honest, this is weird, and you have to be pretty crazy to accept a backgammon game with someone whom you have never met, I mean we aren't even facebook friends for christ's sake.

But if you are willing to throw caution to the wind, or puppies, they are more aerodynamic than caution, perhaps this will lead somewhere...like a dark dungeon filled with my other wives muhahahaha (evil laugh)..that wasn't supposed to be out loud. If anything, you can show this letter to your friends and you guys can giggle and someone can make that psycho noise, the reee ree reee, with the stabby motion, and that would not only be logical, but also a night well spent and this letter will be of some use. Or you could bring it to court to show them proof that a crazy person has approached you. But perhaps, just maybe, this will be a story that we can look back upon with our grandchildren and guffaw about.

Creepiest part of the last sentence,
A) grandchildren
B) guffaw
C) upon
D) all of the above.

I am going to go with all of the above with a special emphasis on grandchildren. Not that I wouldn't want grandchildren, someone has to do the farm work, but how did we get grandchildren without having children first? It's just not logical, and lack of logic creeps me out, kind of like toddlers that do farm work. What kind of fertilizer do you use little Timmy the tomatoes are splendid!! This is basically a test of your sanity, if you are crazy you can email me at I'dhitthat@yahoo.com if you are sane a good day to you and congratulations.

Sincerely,

Creeper McCreepster